And the world smiles with you!
A new week is here and its painful trying to be this cheery lol
but then better cheery than down right?
EDIT: No more cocktail party... we missed out on tix cos we had class >.< sad! lol never mind, i'm sure we'll figure out something else that's fun to do =D
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Once upon a time....
So i was shooting hoops today, and i kinda had a mini ephiphany (lol for those who aren't so englishly inclined, an ephiphany is a sudden realisation... you know one of those lightbulb moments), and that was that I want to one day have a love story to tell my kids. A real life love story ya know.
Before i go any further this will be one of those super sappy posts that Ken does from time to time. Andre you have been warned =P On a secondary note, I do want to state that contrary to the fact that alot of what I write on me blog is about relationships and sappy stuff etc. I don't spend that much time thinking about that sorta thing. Well ok I do spend SOME, but bear in mind a blog is where you put those thoughts down... usually thoughts about emotions etc... this is what blogs are for right =P
So with the disclaimers over...
You know we live in a world where while we are forcefed this idea of what romance is... and what it should be (thank you dramas and movies). Its everywhere we look in terms of the media. Be it in sitcoms, cartoons, movies, dramas.. there is usually a subplot involving love. And usually there will be assorted romantic gestures as part of that.
But then, if we take away what we have in the media, alot of us don't seem to have any real life love stories to tell. I mean to be fair, alot of us don't even know what it really means to be in love. Goodness knows, i certainly don't. Not yet at least. Which leads me to my statement...
I want to have my own love story to tell my kids one day.
Rephrased, I want to be able to give my kids an example of what it means to be romantic... you know ... real AWWWW stuff. A story which by nature of the fact that they would obviously know the people involved would be just that much more ... i don't know... touching? Inspiring? My vocabulary is failing me at this point.
If there's one thing I'd like though, is that I would like to inspire my kids to one day expect or create romance. Because maybe what this world needs more of is romance!
Lol even if realistically, romance tends to be taking the choice that makes the least logical sense on the basis that you want to make another happy.
Frankly romance and common sense don't tend to go hand in hand....
But we love romance anyway.
As a son, I guess I've been lucky in this regard in that my dad has set a heck of an example. (though admittedly he never told us the sotry, was mum who did =P) See when mum and dad were dating, dad decided to go England to further his studies. And being who he was, he wanted mum to go with him too. Bear in mind at this point they were still kinda teens. Think mum was 18... and dad 20 something.. but i don't recall details. See dad had been given some money to go UK with (further studies and all that) but so that mum could go, he split the money with her and flew them both over.
Now mum and dad weren't very rich way back when. If anything they were just downright normal.... i mean seriously grandpa was a farmer, can't expect too much... so when they got there Dad worked odd jobs to support both him and mum.
Ok now, if you fail to seee the romance in that whole situation... well... you suck. Just that whole idea of taking what you have and splitting it so that you and your special person could stay together... and then supporting her when you guys were there. I'd call that romantic. Arguably horrendously silly in the sense it made life that much harder for him, but I know my dad does not regreat his choices.
And that's the example I want to live up to. I mean, I want to one day do something like that... lol not the exact same thing mind you (because lets face it. it's been done, i need my own story) but i want to do soemthing that would make people go... "damn... that's stupid. But ya know... it's awfully sweet..."
Can i do it?
I'd like to say I can...
and one day, i'll be sitting down with my kids....
and I'll go....
"Ya know... there was this one time....I did this one thing for your ma..."
And damn would that day be sweet.
Laters
~ken
Before i go any further this will be one of those super sappy posts that Ken does from time to time. Andre you have been warned =P On a secondary note, I do want to state that contrary to the fact that alot of what I write on me blog is about relationships and sappy stuff etc. I don't spend that much time thinking about that sorta thing. Well ok I do spend SOME, but bear in mind a blog is where you put those thoughts down... usually thoughts about emotions etc... this is what blogs are for right =P
So with the disclaimers over...
You know we live in a world where while we are forcefed this idea of what romance is... and what it should be (thank you dramas and movies). Its everywhere we look in terms of the media. Be it in sitcoms, cartoons, movies, dramas.. there is usually a subplot involving love. And usually there will be assorted romantic gestures as part of that.
But then, if we take away what we have in the media, alot of us don't seem to have any real life love stories to tell. I mean to be fair, alot of us don't even know what it really means to be in love. Goodness knows, i certainly don't. Not yet at least. Which leads me to my statement...
I want to have my own love story to tell my kids one day.
Rephrased, I want to be able to give my kids an example of what it means to be romantic... you know ... real AWWWW stuff. A story which by nature of the fact that they would obviously know the people involved would be just that much more ... i don't know... touching? Inspiring? My vocabulary is failing me at this point.
If there's one thing I'd like though, is that I would like to inspire my kids to one day expect or create romance. Because maybe what this world needs more of is romance!
Lol even if realistically, romance tends to be taking the choice that makes the least logical sense on the basis that you want to make another happy.
Frankly romance and common sense don't tend to go hand in hand....
But we love romance anyway.
As a son, I guess I've been lucky in this regard in that my dad has set a heck of an example. (though admittedly he never told us the sotry, was mum who did =P) See when mum and dad were dating, dad decided to go England to further his studies. And being who he was, he wanted mum to go with him too. Bear in mind at this point they were still kinda teens. Think mum was 18... and dad 20 something.. but i don't recall details. See dad had been given some money to go UK with (further studies and all that) but so that mum could go, he split the money with her and flew them both over.
Now mum and dad weren't very rich way back when. If anything they were just downright normal.... i mean seriously grandpa was a farmer, can't expect too much... so when they got there Dad worked odd jobs to support both him and mum.
Ok now, if you fail to seee the romance in that whole situation... well... you suck. Just that whole idea of taking what you have and splitting it so that you and your special person could stay together... and then supporting her when you guys were there. I'd call that romantic. Arguably horrendously silly in the sense it made life that much harder for him, but I know my dad does not regreat his choices.
And that's the example I want to live up to. I mean, I want to one day do something like that... lol not the exact same thing mind you (because lets face it. it's been done, i need my own story) but i want to do soemthing that would make people go... "damn... that's stupid. But ya know... it's awfully sweet..."
Can i do it?
I'd like to say I can...
and one day, i'll be sitting down with my kids....
and I'll go....
"Ya know... there was this one time....I did this one thing for your ma..."
And damn would that day be sweet.
Laters
~ken
Woop teee doo!
Well Ken's missed the first hour of his International Trade class, mainly due to a) being unable to find parking making him slightly late, and b) forgetting what room the lecture was in making him really late. Decided that instead of embaressing myself and walking in when everyone would notice i'm just going to wait for the first hour break. Gah.... sucky....
Last night was a pretty cool night ^_^ Badminton wsa the fun! Well really, i realised how cruddy i am in badminton (shush I haven't really played it seriously in the past seven years- only once in a while =P) I did enjoy it! hehe though really some of those guys really pro aye... Guess that's what happens when you play something lots !
After badminton, considering it was such an awesome night me and eva went to chill. Lol and as is the genius for randomness that i am, I decided that we should look at stars while drinking freshly made ice lemon tea! ... which btw turned out really yummy so it was a win win.
Definately a good night, just the chilling and the drinking and the mocking of one another.
Yay for buddyship!
Though we did come to certain conclusions last night, one of which was that life was really short, ya know. Like nothing is really guaranteed. We could die tommorow, or someone you know could die. What this means is that you gotta live!!!! and i'm not quite talking about getting as pissed as you can or get laid as much as possible, lol though i do know some do consider that the meaning of living.
For me, living would be doing or trying to do something different... you know so you'd have a memory! (like for example yesterday drinking ice lemon tea under the stars while freezing your legs off because you decided to go out wearing shorts and slippers...) In other words... randomness! ^_^
Well that and letting people know you care bout them... that be part of living too i think!
So on that note i'll give an internet shout out to my ppls!
To my parents.... because really, even with the bad times, i still love the both of you so so much! I owe you guys so much.... and when i get rich i'm going to pay you guys back way more than you guys gave me ^_^ Love ya both!
To my sisters... Joyce, San, Mog... Hasn't always been fun, but I love ya all! You three are all so different, but all special ya! Joyce, thanks for being my lil sis. Even if we disagree alot, i know you love me... and you know i love you. And thanks for turning me metro... lol San, thanks for the advice you've always given me... even if i'm alot of the time a bit of a hard headed moose. Mog... thanks for loving me even when i haven't always been the nicest too you.... never did tell you i appreciate you.
To my special people.... you guys rock! I mean some of you have even had to listen to me bitch... which i do from time to time =P (NOT ONE WORD... TIME TO TIME IS ACCURATE ENOUGH OK)
To Nic... we'd been friends for awhile now, and ya know what, I treasure what we have. Lol even if we will NEVER work out in a relationship, we make awesometastic friends! lol My conciensce right? (lol even if i might choose to decide on my own, i still do listen) Thanks for all the times you've listened to me and been there for me. Ken appreciates! You are a great ear nic, and even if we disagree, Ken does know you love him... and know that I do love ya too! ^_^
To Eva... Oi BUdDY when pedro going to bake you your cake? lol Thanks lady. You've been awesome fun to hang around, and while you are undeniably racist (WHAT IS WRONG WITH ASIAN GUYS G'DAMNIT) you're still one of the most genuinely nice people I have ever ever met. I mean come on... who gets annoyed at me because I make an old lady wait to park her car for a minute or two. I mean seriously..... she was in her car! Cars are comfortable enough! and it's only cos she didn't want to parralel park in the other one! GeeEEe.... lol but ya. Thanks for listening to me rant too. You're a fantastic person and Pedro's lucky to have you ya! (remember if need be, i'll break his kneecaps for you! i'll even give you a buddyship discount!)
To Andre... Ye ol scottish tosser! lol jk Andre, you're one of the more intelligent people I know, and all things aside, i'm glad that we got to know each other. Though really.... its still kinda sad that we got to know each other through ye ol internet forum. Lol You've been i guess a good person to just reflect on ideas with, not to mention a wellspring of good advice, the most notable would be: "if pissed off, pass your phone to someone else so you do not make an arse of yourself". Lol You rock mate. P.s. Bloody J*** (censorship for you =D)
To Ken Jin and Li Min... man you guys have been awesome. The older mature influence I need. I've told you guys before already but honestly I really really am grateful for the advice you guys have given me. And even with ken's evil evil sarcasm, I have learnt alot from the both of yaz. Thanks yaz ya! You guys are always appreciated... even if others might not see it. Then again, that's their loss. Idiots.... love ya both!
To Yui... what can I say. You've made my life very interesting of late... lol ^_^ but you're someone specials to me so i gotta say it too. May we get to know each other more ya!
To Laine... An ear to listen to an ear. You always have one here too ya! lol after all you've been a great ear to me too! kerhug turtle!
To Yue... Thanks ya! Lol the Fei Cai ended up being pretty cool right ;)
To Shing... you listen... you cooked... you cool! lol you're going to make someone a hell of a wife someday!
To Looi... bro i will always remember that you were the one who looked me up. You may not have thought much of it, but I do and will remember. Be strong mate...
Hmmmm and I have to get to class now... lol well this list shall be labelled as "unfinished" so if your name is not on it well its not that i don't appreciate you... lol its' just that I had to rush off ya (lol lies i know but shush =P)
Laters Skaters!
~ken
Last night was a pretty cool night ^_^ Badminton wsa the fun! Well really, i realised how cruddy i am in badminton (shush I haven't really played it seriously in the past seven years- only once in a while =P) I did enjoy it! hehe though really some of those guys really pro aye... Guess that's what happens when you play something lots !
After badminton, considering it was such an awesome night me and eva went to chill. Lol and as is the genius for randomness that i am, I decided that we should look at stars while drinking freshly made ice lemon tea! ... which btw turned out really yummy so it was a win win.
Definately a good night, just the chilling and the drinking and the mocking of one another.
Yay for buddyship!
Though we did come to certain conclusions last night, one of which was that life was really short, ya know. Like nothing is really guaranteed. We could die tommorow, or someone you know could die. What this means is that you gotta live!!!! and i'm not quite talking about getting as pissed as you can or get laid as much as possible, lol though i do know some do consider that the meaning of living.
For me, living would be doing or trying to do something different... you know so you'd have a memory! (like for example yesterday drinking ice lemon tea under the stars while freezing your legs off because you decided to go out wearing shorts and slippers...) In other words... randomness! ^_^
Well that and letting people know you care bout them... that be part of living too i think!
So on that note i'll give an internet shout out to my ppls!
To my parents.... because really, even with the bad times, i still love the both of you so so much! I owe you guys so much.... and when i get rich i'm going to pay you guys back way more than you guys gave me ^_^ Love ya both!
To my sisters... Joyce, San, Mog... Hasn't always been fun, but I love ya all! You three are all so different, but all special ya! Joyce, thanks for being my lil sis. Even if we disagree alot, i know you love me... and you know i love you. And thanks for turning me metro... lol San, thanks for the advice you've always given me... even if i'm alot of the time a bit of a hard headed moose. Mog... thanks for loving me even when i haven't always been the nicest too you.... never did tell you i appreciate you.
To my special people.... you guys rock! I mean some of you have even had to listen to me bitch... which i do from time to time =P (NOT ONE WORD... TIME TO TIME IS ACCURATE ENOUGH OK)
To Nic... we'd been friends for awhile now, and ya know what, I treasure what we have. Lol even if we will NEVER work out in a relationship, we make awesometastic friends! lol My conciensce right? (lol even if i might choose to decide on my own, i still do listen) Thanks for all the times you've listened to me and been there for me. Ken appreciates! You are a great ear nic, and even if we disagree, Ken does know you love him... and know that I do love ya too! ^_^
To Eva... Oi BUdDY when pedro going to bake you your cake? lol Thanks lady. You've been awesome fun to hang around, and while you are undeniably racist (WHAT IS WRONG WITH ASIAN GUYS G'DAMNIT) you're still one of the most genuinely nice people I have ever ever met. I mean come on... who gets annoyed at me because I make an old lady wait to park her car for a minute or two. I mean seriously..... she was in her car! Cars are comfortable enough! and it's only cos she didn't want to parralel park in the other one! GeeEEe.... lol but ya. Thanks for listening to me rant too. You're a fantastic person and Pedro's lucky to have you ya! (remember if need be, i'll break his kneecaps for you! i'll even give you a buddyship discount!)
To Andre... Ye ol scottish tosser! lol jk Andre, you're one of the more intelligent people I know, and all things aside, i'm glad that we got to know each other. Though really.... its still kinda sad that we got to know each other through ye ol internet forum. Lol You've been i guess a good person to just reflect on ideas with, not to mention a wellspring of good advice, the most notable would be: "if pissed off, pass your phone to someone else so you do not make an arse of yourself". Lol You rock mate. P.s. Bloody J*** (censorship for you =D)
To Ken Jin and Li Min... man you guys have been awesome. The older mature influence I need. I've told you guys before already but honestly I really really am grateful for the advice you guys have given me. And even with ken's evil evil sarcasm, I have learnt alot from the both of yaz. Thanks yaz ya! You guys are always appreciated... even if others might not see it. Then again, that's their loss. Idiots.... love ya both!
To Yui... what can I say. You've made my life very interesting of late... lol ^_^ but you're someone specials to me so i gotta say it too. May we get to know each other more ya!
To Laine... An ear to listen to an ear. You always have one here too ya! lol after all you've been a great ear to me too! kerhug turtle!
To Yue... Thanks ya! Lol the Fei Cai ended up being pretty cool right ;)
To Shing... you listen... you cooked... you cool! lol you're going to make someone a hell of a wife someday!
To Looi... bro i will always remember that you were the one who looked me up. You may not have thought much of it, but I do and will remember. Be strong mate...
Hmmmm and I have to get to class now... lol well this list shall be labelled as "unfinished" so if your name is not on it well its not that i don't appreciate you... lol its' just that I had to rush off ya (lol lies i know but shush =P)
Laters Skaters!
~ken
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Of good hair days, good friends and maybe a little truth
Today has been, i think all up, a good day.
To start everything off it has been a good hair day! seriously! like i got the spikes just right this morning... hehe kinda a shame that the hair was wasted, and then tonight when i fixed up my hair again it was a real cool almost-emo fringe... lol Yeah. I'm being very metro right now =P but shush, was happy! Good hair days - win
I think... today was a day of two halves. Was kidna not so happy at points, but then thanks to Nicole and Yue (note this is not Yui.. Yue is the chinese one... lol Andre got confused =P) my night ended up really good. Was down a wee bit earlier tonight to be honest, why... well i won't really say, lol mainly because while I'm all for up and up honesty, there's no point airing such things online. If you want to know what bugs ken feel free to ask. I prob will tell ya ^_^ after all, no point hiding right?
ok so i was dinnering at Nic's (she invited after all), Yue came along too... basically we kinda were catching up with one another and stuff ^_^. Nic cooked this noodle dish with chicken and some bean curdy stuff =P i ddin't eat that much because I had some chicken rice at home... MmMmmmM chicken rice! lol but i digress...
We chilled out for a while after dinner chilling and talking with Andy (nic/shing's flatmate) who's real cool aye! you know i have to say i realy do like her flatmates... lol i'll pop by more often i think! but never mind... we talked bout all sorta random stuff. lol Heck i even got to eat a yam raw, something i haven't done before =P (when i say Yam, i mean the NZ meaning of the word... you know those small red things that Yue seem to think look like dongs loL!)
We eventually went back to Nic's room where more chilling occured. Lol and singing on my part... yeah felt like singing cos wasn't in the best of moods and i guess singing helps with that. Lol though joyce does scold me when i sing... says i'm too loud =P lol but yeah... Yue made an interesting observation that I don't seem as happy as i used to be... which I guess may be quite true.
Though maybe its not so much I'm not as happy, its jsut that right now i've got alot on my plate emotionally, and to be honest, i'm still not the most adept at dealing with alot of it. Lol if only i could just not give a damn... but I don't think that's really me is it. I tend to care... and unfortunately for me... when i care bout someone they affect my emotions heaps.... lol I swear this part of me hasn't changed in years =P
Lol AH well...
so after good ol heart 2 heart, which really I've been finding i like doing =P we ended up changing topics to dancing... and Yue showed us some belly dancing =P! was cool to see actually and well we decided to get some tunes playing and do some dancing ! Yeah..dancing good... cheers ken up it does! lol actually i think by then i was already done with what had been bugging me. Already decided how i was going to deal with that little issue... ^_^
Lol we didn't dance very long but that's ok... can't wait for Sat though! Dancing time =P Prob hit the clubs after the ball as well so its looking like a good night all up!
Yosha!! Go GO dancer crew!
~happy
Ken
-PS- thanks ladies for cheering me up. ^_^ love ya both!
To start everything off it has been a good hair day! seriously! like i got the spikes just right this morning... hehe kinda a shame that the hair was wasted, and then tonight when i fixed up my hair again it was a real cool almost-emo fringe... lol Yeah. I'm being very metro right now =P but shush, was happy! Good hair days - win
I think... today was a day of two halves. Was kidna not so happy at points, but then thanks to Nicole and Yue (note this is not Yui.. Yue is the chinese one... lol Andre got confused =P) my night ended up really good. Was down a wee bit earlier tonight to be honest, why... well i won't really say, lol mainly because while I'm all for up and up honesty, there's no point airing such things online. If you want to know what bugs ken feel free to ask. I prob will tell ya ^_^ after all, no point hiding right?
ok so i was dinnering at Nic's (she invited after all), Yue came along too... basically we kinda were catching up with one another and stuff ^_^. Nic cooked this noodle dish with chicken and some bean curdy stuff =P i ddin't eat that much because I had some chicken rice at home... MmMmmmM chicken rice! lol but i digress...
We chilled out for a while after dinner chilling and talking with Andy (nic/shing's flatmate) who's real cool aye! you know i have to say i realy do like her flatmates... lol i'll pop by more often i think! but never mind... we talked bout all sorta random stuff. lol Heck i even got to eat a yam raw, something i haven't done before =P (when i say Yam, i mean the NZ meaning of the word... you know those small red things that Yue seem to think look like dongs loL!)
We eventually went back to Nic's room where more chilling occured. Lol and singing on my part... yeah felt like singing cos wasn't in the best of moods and i guess singing helps with that. Lol though joyce does scold me when i sing... says i'm too loud =P lol but yeah... Yue made an interesting observation that I don't seem as happy as i used to be... which I guess may be quite true.
Though maybe its not so much I'm not as happy, its jsut that right now i've got alot on my plate emotionally, and to be honest, i'm still not the most adept at dealing with alot of it. Lol if only i could just not give a damn... but I don't think that's really me is it. I tend to care... and unfortunately for me... when i care bout someone they affect my emotions heaps.... lol I swear this part of me hasn't changed in years =P
Lol AH well...
so after good ol heart 2 heart, which really I've been finding i like doing =P we ended up changing topics to dancing... and Yue showed us some belly dancing =P! was cool to see actually and well we decided to get some tunes playing and do some dancing ! Yeah..dancing good... cheers ken up it does! lol actually i think by then i was already done with what had been bugging me. Already decided how i was going to deal with that little issue... ^_^
Lol we didn't dance very long but that's ok... can't wait for Sat though! Dancing time =P Prob hit the clubs after the ball as well so its looking like a good night all up!
Yosha!! Go GO dancer crew!
~happy
Ken
-PS- thanks ladies for cheering me up. ^_^ love ya both!
Saturday, July 21, 2007
This is my rifle this is my gun... this is for shooting, this is for fun
Lol if anyone can recognise where that line comes from i'll give you a cookie. ^_^
Wacky title aside, just a quick thought....
Why is there a 'game'?
Why is it that those who aren't aware of the game and its nuances ends up getting played by those who do?
Why can't you just be honest with how you actually feel?
Well ok i can kinda answer the last one i guess. Because being honest kinda takes away the thrill of the chase. Because you know whether you have them or not... lol
But i suck at playing games you know...
I'm a fairly straightforward person.
I tend to be too upfront about my feelings. (gamer strike 1)
I tend to want to spoil the person i like (gamer strike 2)
I tend to consider the ones i like as special, not as a person who could easily be replaced by the next hot chick that walks by. (gamer strike 3... guess i'm out =P)
Meh... moment over. I'll reassess things at the end of the year. After all, things are always in a state of change yeah?
And truth is, i'd be dissapointed if there weren't things in my life i didn't want to better and improve.
Yay to never being the same!
Anyways I think i've written too much about relationships. Guess of late its been on my mind lots... lol even if admittedly there are more important things i gotta figure out.
(though as Andre said, "in the end, it always comes back to being about the girl" lol)
Guess most presing is the question of what happens next for me? Well kinda 'next'. More correctly what happens at the end of next year... well technically 3 months into 2009. Lol... i graduate end of next year, then i have 3 months of profs (so ken can FINALLy call himself a lawyer). then after that... I have NO idea what i'm going to do.
There are a couple of options avaliable i guess... but I am kinda holding off making the decision till at least the end of the year. Certain things have to be figured out first after all lol
Though just for conversation sake, here are my options.
1) Go back Msia and find an earning there (yuck)
2) Go get me a MBA in either the US or UK. mum wants me to get this because it'll help me heaps with my job prospects after... i'm just not sure quite yet. Though this is a very strong possibility.
3) Go find me a job in a bigger city... aka possibly probably sydney.... lol ok that's my excuse alright. It's FOR A JOB OK... really.... (shush) Well at least for something that has alot to do with my future =P
Either way, as they say all roads lead to rome... and i still need to figure out how i'm going to get myself financially independant. Lol people who say money is not important do not realise that we live in a world where money is essential. Earning absolute bucketloads of it may not be.... but truth be told, i'd like to have the buckets. Being able to do what I want because i have the monetary means appeals to me. Getting to that point on the other hand requires some careful consideration. (and just on the note... money is really important to relationships too you know. well more marraiges.... many marraige issues can be traced to money... usually the lack of .... but you get the idea)
I still want to see the world though.....
Laters~
Ken
Wacky title aside, just a quick thought....
Why is there a 'game'?
Why is it that those who aren't aware of the game and its nuances ends up getting played by those who do?
Why can't you just be honest with how you actually feel?
Well ok i can kinda answer the last one i guess. Because being honest kinda takes away the thrill of the chase. Because you know whether you have them or not... lol
But i suck at playing games you know...
I'm a fairly straightforward person.
I tend to be too upfront about my feelings. (gamer strike 1)
I tend to want to spoil the person i like (gamer strike 2)
I tend to consider the ones i like as special, not as a person who could easily be replaced by the next hot chick that walks by. (gamer strike 3... guess i'm out =P)
Meh... moment over. I'll reassess things at the end of the year. After all, things are always in a state of change yeah?
And truth is, i'd be dissapointed if there weren't things in my life i didn't want to better and improve.
Yay to never being the same!
Anyways I think i've written too much about relationships. Guess of late its been on my mind lots... lol even if admittedly there are more important things i gotta figure out.
(though as Andre said, "in the end, it always comes back to being about the girl" lol)
Guess most presing is the question of what happens next for me? Well kinda 'next'. More correctly what happens at the end of next year... well technically 3 months into 2009. Lol... i graduate end of next year, then i have 3 months of profs (so ken can FINALLy call himself a lawyer). then after that... I have NO idea what i'm going to do.
There are a couple of options avaliable i guess... but I am kinda holding off making the decision till at least the end of the year. Certain things have to be figured out first after all lol
Though just for conversation sake, here are my options.
1) Go back Msia and find an earning there (yuck)
2) Go get me a MBA in either the US or UK. mum wants me to get this because it'll help me heaps with my job prospects after... i'm just not sure quite yet. Though this is a very strong possibility.
3) Go find me a job in a bigger city... aka possibly probably sydney.... lol ok that's my excuse alright. It's FOR A JOB OK... really.... (shush) Well at least for something that has alot to do with my future =P
Either way, as they say all roads lead to rome... and i still need to figure out how i'm going to get myself financially independant. Lol people who say money is not important do not realise that we live in a world where money is essential. Earning absolute bucketloads of it may not be.... but truth be told, i'd like to have the buckets. Being able to do what I want because i have the monetary means appeals to me. Getting to that point on the other hand requires some careful consideration. (and just on the note... money is really important to relationships too you know. well more marraiges.... many marraige issues can be traced to money... usually the lack of .... but you get the idea)
I still want to see the world though.....
Laters~
Ken
Thursday, July 19, 2007
We the walking wounded
You know if i was ever going to make one sweeping generalisation about people in general, it would be simply this, that the majority of people in this world, save for a lucky few, are all walking wounded. As in, everyone's got their baggage, and quite frankly... alot of us just don't know what to do with it.
On a side note, its fitting that its raining outside today. Very Fitting.
Its strange really, I mean as having shit happen to you, I guess I got off pretty light (as compared to some of the stories I've heard from people). And after hearing... well quite a few stories really, i've come to one conclusion. For the most part I really cannot understand another person's pain. And in that same line of thought, no one is really going to be able to understand the pain that I personally would go through.
We can empathise, we can feel just a little (if we try) of another person's pain, but to truly understand it? Unless you can say you've gone through the exact same event, with the same circumstances, with the same frame of mind....
See why i say its impossible for another person to truly understand another's pain?
But then that does not mean that we as people can't help those that have hurts. That we as people can't help a person with their scars. Just, we can't ever truly heal a person. Not by our willpower... no matter how earnest we are.... no matter how much we may truly care about the person. We can never force a person to be well.
All we can really do is let the person know its ok to be messed up. That its ok to be just that little bit broken. That even if they act silly because of that brokeness, we uinderstand and will continue being there for them. Though honestly this does not mean giving hurt people a free pass to acting like absolute brats or bitches (take your pick of word =P whichever applies better :D)
In essence be a shoulder for them to lean on when they can't stand...
the person holding them while they cry their eyes out...
The person pushing them to stand again after they've broken down..
And the person who loves them no matter how many times they need to go through this process.
Because frankly, we are going to need that too.
~later
Ken
(if i could take away your pain, i would. I really really would)
On a side note, its fitting that its raining outside today. Very Fitting.
Its strange really, I mean as having shit happen to you, I guess I got off pretty light (as compared to some of the stories I've heard from people). And after hearing... well quite a few stories really, i've come to one conclusion. For the most part I really cannot understand another person's pain. And in that same line of thought, no one is really going to be able to understand the pain that I personally would go through.
We can empathise, we can feel just a little (if we try) of another person's pain, but to truly understand it? Unless you can say you've gone through the exact same event, with the same circumstances, with the same frame of mind....
See why i say its impossible for another person to truly understand another's pain?
But then that does not mean that we as people can't help those that have hurts. That we as people can't help a person with their scars. Just, we can't ever truly heal a person. Not by our willpower... no matter how earnest we are.... no matter how much we may truly care about the person. We can never force a person to be well.
All we can really do is let the person know its ok to be messed up. That its ok to be just that little bit broken. That even if they act silly because of that brokeness, we uinderstand and will continue being there for them. Though honestly this does not mean giving hurt people a free pass to acting like absolute brats or bitches (take your pick of word =P whichever applies better :D)
In essence be a shoulder for them to lean on when they can't stand...
the person holding them while they cry their eyes out...
The person pushing them to stand again after they've broken down..
And the person who loves them no matter how many times they need to go through this process.
Because frankly, we are going to need that too.
~later
Ken
(if i could take away your pain, i would. I really really would)
Monday, July 16, 2007
Quick update
guess law ball not happening for me this year... gahh kinda gutting. Everyone else bailed cos of price.. and i can understand that but blech.
Sucks..
well at least the gameshow ball looks good...
and Malam Malaysia should be awesome. 50th aniversary and all..
Sucks..
well at least the gameshow ball looks good...
and Malam Malaysia should be awesome. 50th aniversary and all..
Lyric time- The kill- 30 Seconds to Mars
The Kill
What if I wanted to break
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do?(Oh,Oh,Oh,Oh)
What if I fell to the floor
Couldn't take this anymore
What would you do, do, do?
Come, break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life.
What would you do?(Do,do)
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for
I'm not running from you
Come, break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you
I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now: this is who I really am inside
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance
I know now, THIS IS WHO I REALLY AM
Oh oh
Oh oh
Oh oh
Come, break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you, you, you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you
Come, break me down
Break me down
Break me down
What if I wanted to break...? (You say you wanted more, what are you waiting for? I'm not running from you...)
What if I, what if I, what if I... (bury me, bury me)
====
What can i say... the lyrics are sufficiently emo, but I really do like them. Lol guess I'll never really stop having that part of me that is somewhat emo =P
What if I wanted to break
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do?(Oh,Oh,Oh,Oh)
What if I fell to the floor
Couldn't take this anymore
What would you do, do, do?
Come, break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life.
What would you do?(Do,do)
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for
I'm not running from you
Come, break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you
I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now: this is who I really am inside
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance
I know now, THIS IS WHO I REALLY AM
Oh oh
Oh oh
Oh oh
Come, break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you, you, you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you
Come, break me down
Break me down
Break me down
What if I wanted to break...? (You say you wanted more, what are you waiting for? I'm not running from you...)
What if I, what if I, what if I... (bury me, bury me)
====
What can i say... the lyrics are sufficiently emo, but I really do like them. Lol guess I'll never really stop having that part of me that is somewhat emo =P
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Lyrics - innuendo - Belaian jiwa
Seindah tiada lagi kau ku ingatkan
Beauty no more do I think of you
Sayang kau hilang
Unfortunately you’ve gone
Menanti biar sampai akhir hayat ku di dunia ini
I will be waiting till the end of my life in this earth
Kau tahu bertapa ku sayang padamu
You know how much I love you
Hanya bidadari sebagai ganti
Only the angels can replace you
Hanya takdir menentukan ia
It’s fate that determines it
Oh belaian jiwa
Oh the carress of the soul
Oh angin, sampaikan lagu ku padanya
Oh wind, send my song to her
yang sedih pilu
Which is full of sadness
Terimalah lagu ku jadi teman hidup mu
Take my song as your life companion
Untuk selamanya
For eternity
Kau tahu bertapa ku sayang padamu
You know how much I love you
Hanya bidadari sebagai ganti
Only the angcan replace you
Hanya takdir
Only fate
Menentukan ia
Determines it
Oh belaian jiwa
Oh the carress of the soul
Beauty no more do I think of you
Sayang kau hilang
Unfortunately you’ve gone
Menanti biar sampai akhir hayat ku di dunia ini
I will be waiting till the end of my life in this earth
Kau tahu bertapa ku sayang padamu
You know how much I love you
Hanya bidadari sebagai ganti
Only the angels can replace you
Hanya takdir menentukan ia
It’s fate that determines it
Oh belaian jiwa
Oh the carress of the soul
Oh angin, sampaikan lagu ku padanya
Oh wind, send my song to her
yang sedih pilu
Which is full of sadness
Terimalah lagu ku jadi teman hidup mu
Take my song as your life companion
Untuk selamanya
For eternity
Kau tahu bertapa ku sayang padamu
You know how much I love you
Hanya bidadari sebagai ganti
Only the angcan replace you
Hanya takdir
Only fate
Menentukan ia
Determines it
Oh belaian jiwa
Oh the carress of the soul
Testing testing one two three....
Ok i'm writing again.
Why?
Well maybe because its good for me to write more often. More than that, i'm hoping this... well semi-enforced period of writing productivity (i just resisted the urge to use literary... because big words which don't do anything more than sound big are not so usefull yes?)
It's been quite an eventful week really, but due to the fact I a) can't be bothered to go through EVERYTHING and b) can't remember everything, i'll pick out the highpoints/lowpoints/point of interests and go from there. Should rambling occur along the way and i get horrendously horrendously sidetracked.. wel you have been warned :P
Sooooooo what has happened this week?
You know... I've not had a very "normal" week in terms of sleeping times aye. Lemme think... Monday i slept at 5 (convos into early in the morning are the way to go y'all!... hehe not really but was nice), tuesday... frig i can't remember what i did on tuesday lol... wednesday/thursday was at hamner so sleep was OBVIOUSLY not happening. I mean frankly, thursday i only got 2 hours so... ya know -_-;;... friday... lol i don't remember what happened friday. oh wait... slept at 4 methinks..saturday ... heheh got to bed round 5. But was a fun night all up. I'll go into what happened on saturday in abit. But yeah... good night all round. Educational too. ^_^
So really all up... i haven't gotten a proper night's sleep in awhile aye... then again i spent most of today sleeping so it probably balances out =P
hehehe
such be the life of student on holiday!
Random thought... i really like Icebox (remix) aye... it's got such a nice beat/melody. It's kinda like why i love Cupid from 112. It's the mixture of beat and melody that gets to me... You know actually i think i'll take this opportunity to go on a little tangent about music. There are just some songs that when you hear... it just moves ya aye. For me there are a couple of songs that always do get to me.
Blurry- Puddle of Mudd
One of my all time favourite songs ever. Seriously, i absolutely love this song. Lol its served me well aye.. especially during my emo stage. I'll say though, alot about this song i can totally understand. The feeling of being so preoccupied with a person... the feelings of not really knowing how to deal with that person... and the hurt that comes from that. I can understand that. Lol this song definately got alot of play time when i was feeling all hurt and rejected (and there's been a couple of times =P)
You got it bad - Usher
Man.. this used to be the one song that make me feel all lovesick and stuff. Hehe... i think it goes without saying why I like this song. Real nostalgia value here... lol wonder if i'll ever really 'have it bad'. Maybe. I seem to lean towards that aye... =P
Can you stand the rain - Boys 2 Men
One of the few accapella songs i have, and damn if its not one of my faves. Honestly... i can still remember the one time I was sitting in my car in the law carpark listening to this song as the rain hammered down outside. Was so fitting... helped that at the time i was thinking bout love and stuff ... i think lol i don't recall details. But this song definately one i love.
Quick lyric time =P
"Sunny days, everybody loves them
Tell me
Can you stand the rain? "
Hmmm i think i'll stop here for the songs... lol i could go through heaps of songs that mean something to me. Lol and i still haven't written about what's happened this week aye lol
Ok back to the point..
Hamner was cool. I think on the whole it was pretty well done. Organisation could have been a little better but that's ok. I think really for me highpoint was going up the mountain at night. It's been so long since i last seen the milky way aye... quite frankly it's just not often i get a chance to be in a place where there is no light pollution... and the sky was quite frankly perfect for stargazing. not a cloud.... man... it was soo beautiful. More than that though was going up higher into the mountain and seeing the snow. Man.... there's soemthing really beautiful about snow.... and it's surprisingly fun to jump into.... lol though i didn't get much chance to jump in much... when we tried to see who could jump the furthest i whacked my ankle.. the same one that got twisted last last month.. *(can't believe that its still not 100%... pain in the arse). Still wholy wholy enjoyable it was. Wish we could have gone higher but that's ok. Snow + stars + drawing in snow = win.
Playing osaka rules for Big 2 till six in the morning with James and Joanna was really cool too! not to meantion being able to catch up with Huei Yin...
Yeah was a worthwhile trip.
Next cool point is that Laine visited! granted she's gone down south already, it's always nice seeing a friend you grew up with. Man seriously...if i think about it.. i technically have known her since primary 1... that's like... when i was 9? I think she was in kindy as well but i don't recall her then lol
Sheesh... that's a long time to know soemone... granted i only got to really know her after i left. Lol life is funny soemtimes lol
Moving on... yesterday 9saturday) night was really fun. Started off with Crowne plaza... man... good music, good sandwiches, good ice cream, good company... seriously was one of the better dates i've been on. Clubbing after was ok, but really best part of the night was still crowne plaza. Good for the memories ^_^ hehehe
on a random point i know how to massage a little better now =D always a bonus!
Yeah, there be other things that've gone on that i haven't said.. but you know, it's not good to write EVERYTHING that's happened onlnie. lol just not very prudent is it.... guy's gotta keep some secrets ;)
I'll end this post here.
~k
P.S. - CAN'T WAIT FOR LAW BALL! getting tickets tommorow... yui you better be able to go ! i'll be so dissapointed if you can't aye...
Why?
Well maybe because its good for me to write more often. More than that, i'm hoping this... well semi-enforced period of writing productivity (i just resisted the urge to use literary... because big words which don't do anything more than sound big are not so usefull yes?)
It's been quite an eventful week really, but due to the fact I a) can't be bothered to go through EVERYTHING and b) can't remember everything, i'll pick out the highpoints/lowpoints/point of interests and go from there. Should rambling occur along the way and i get horrendously horrendously sidetracked.. wel you have been warned :P
Sooooooo what has happened this week?
You know... I've not had a very "normal" week in terms of sleeping times aye. Lemme think... Monday i slept at 5 (convos into early in the morning are the way to go y'all!... hehe not really but was nice), tuesday... frig i can't remember what i did on tuesday lol... wednesday/thursday was at hamner so sleep was OBVIOUSLY not happening. I mean frankly, thursday i only got 2 hours so... ya know -_-;;... friday... lol i don't remember what happened friday. oh wait... slept at 4 methinks..saturday ... heheh got to bed round 5. But was a fun night all up. I'll go into what happened on saturday in abit. But yeah... good night all round. Educational too. ^_^
So really all up... i haven't gotten a proper night's sleep in awhile aye... then again i spent most of today sleeping so it probably balances out =P
hehehe
such be the life of student on holiday!
Random thought... i really like Icebox (remix) aye... it's got such a nice beat/melody. It's kinda like why i love Cupid from 112. It's the mixture of beat and melody that gets to me... You know actually i think i'll take this opportunity to go on a little tangent about music. There are just some songs that when you hear... it just moves ya aye. For me there are a couple of songs that always do get to me.
Blurry- Puddle of Mudd
One of my all time favourite songs ever. Seriously, i absolutely love this song. Lol its served me well aye.. especially during my emo stage. I'll say though, alot about this song i can totally understand. The feeling of being so preoccupied with a person... the feelings of not really knowing how to deal with that person... and the hurt that comes from that. I can understand that. Lol this song definately got alot of play time when i was feeling all hurt and rejected (and there's been a couple of times =P)
You got it bad - Usher
Man.. this used to be the one song that make me feel all lovesick and stuff. Hehe... i think it goes without saying why I like this song. Real nostalgia value here... lol wonder if i'll ever really 'have it bad'. Maybe. I seem to lean towards that aye... =P
Can you stand the rain - Boys 2 Men
One of the few accapella songs i have, and damn if its not one of my faves. Honestly... i can still remember the one time I was sitting in my car in the law carpark listening to this song as the rain hammered down outside. Was so fitting... helped that at the time i was thinking bout love and stuff ... i think lol i don't recall details. But this song definately one i love.
Quick lyric time =P
"Sunny days, everybody loves them
Tell me
Can you stand the rain? "
Hmmm i think i'll stop here for the songs... lol i could go through heaps of songs that mean something to me. Lol and i still haven't written about what's happened this week aye lol
Ok back to the point..
Hamner was cool. I think on the whole it was pretty well done. Organisation could have been a little better but that's ok. I think really for me highpoint was going up the mountain at night. It's been so long since i last seen the milky way aye... quite frankly it's just not often i get a chance to be in a place where there is no light pollution... and the sky was quite frankly perfect for stargazing. not a cloud.... man... it was soo beautiful. More than that though was going up higher into the mountain and seeing the snow. Man.... there's soemthing really beautiful about snow.... and it's surprisingly fun to jump into.... lol though i didn't get much chance to jump in much... when we tried to see who could jump the furthest i whacked my ankle.. the same one that got twisted last last month.. *(can't believe that its still not 100%... pain in the arse). Still wholy wholy enjoyable it was. Wish we could have gone higher but that's ok. Snow + stars + drawing in snow = win.
Playing osaka rules for Big 2 till six in the morning with James and Joanna was really cool too! not to meantion being able to catch up with Huei Yin...
Yeah was a worthwhile trip.
Next cool point is that Laine visited! granted she's gone down south already, it's always nice seeing a friend you grew up with. Man seriously...if i think about it.. i technically have known her since primary 1... that's like... when i was 9? I think she was in kindy as well but i don't recall her then lol
Sheesh... that's a long time to know soemone... granted i only got to really know her after i left. Lol life is funny soemtimes lol
Moving on... yesterday 9saturday) night was really fun. Started off with Crowne plaza... man... good music, good sandwiches, good ice cream, good company... seriously was one of the better dates i've been on. Clubbing after was ok, but really best part of the night was still crowne plaza. Good for the memories ^_^ hehehe
on a random point i know how to massage a little better now =D always a bonus!
Yeah, there be other things that've gone on that i haven't said.. but you know, it's not good to write EVERYTHING that's happened onlnie. lol just not very prudent is it.... guy's gotta keep some secrets ;)
I'll end this post here.
~k
P.S. - CAN'T WAIT FOR LAW BALL! getting tickets tommorow... yui you better be able to go ! i'll be so dissapointed if you can't aye...
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Life ... Oh life... woop!
Ok, it's
(which also unfortunately means my closet still remains unsorted >.
So decided to post about something that's been on my mind. Basically that life really is filled with great big coincidences... ya know things that when you look back make you realise just how random everything can be.
now... see i know
Lol but thats a sidetrack.
SO on the night we head off to timezone (after picking up miss thousand-words-an-hour) to meet her friend (though to be absolutely honest, i was more interested in the too spicy gun game at Timezone. Me and Eva just discovered it and its the fun! though i got my butt handed to me by Eva so maybe that night wasn't so much fun)
ANYWAYS, guess who the friend was?
Yep... it was Yui. Now here's a little snippet of info i found out about that.. Yui had only really met
See CoincIdence! and yes I did capitalise the I. This isn't exactly an article in the New York Times. i don't have to stick with the basic rules of english grammar.
So to sum it up... if the idea to randomly karaoke hadn't happened at the beggining of the year, i'd have never gotten to know that Eva and I got along..... which would have meant i'd have never gotten to know
Interesting huh? just how sometimes things just kinda happen.
Of course the cruddiest thing is that Yui's leaving, so there's no happiness there (THUS my saying that God has a sense of humour- actually joyce said this today "Awww poor ken. You finally get a pretty girl and she's leaving"... or soemthing like that. Because reading that joyce doesn't really talk like that =P lol but you get the gist of it.)
But never mind, this post isn't about how much life makes me want to bitch.... lol it's about coincidences and how things do seem to happen for a reason. (then again thinking honestly about it, the timing of how everything happened is fine. I'm not the guy i was at the beggining of the year... trust me, I've come a LONG LONG way since then.... i'll write about how i've changed next time =P eheheh. The point being that had i met Yui earlier in the year... i'd have prob messed it up. so ^_^ guess all good anyway~)
So waht's the greater philosophical discussion about there being... "fate?" Honestly.... i couldn't say, on the basis tat i have no intention of being some great philospher. Frankly i'm only a guy who should be graduating with both degrees this year, but instead has to take another year. Yeah.. its my own fault... I take responsibility for it. Frankly Ken has been a horrible student. he's doing better now, but frankly could be ALOT bettter.... btu i digress... something for another post that be.
I guess if there is one thing I'd take from all this is that knowing that there is something guiding the happenings is comforting. Like there's a greater reason for some things happening. I will say this though, sometimes things happen which I can't say there's a greater purpose to. Something that christians occasioanlly get wrong. Remember reading this once on some american dude's blog.
====
I'll give you perfect example. I had a conversation with a former friend in high school. We got into the arguement about women and rape.
"So you believe a woman who is rape and gets pregant should have the baby?"
"Obviously, because God wants her to have a child."
The FUCK?! God wanted her to be raped just to knock her up?
My fist still hurts on occasion from punching him!
===
I will say this. While i believe somethings in life are set, some things in life i don't want to believe are decided by whatever is out there. I detest rape. And will never say its part of a higher purpose for soemone to get raped.
I guess on that point, i can't really pick and choose what aspects of life i like and dislike. if i believe in fate than do I have to believe that all things happen for a reason? ALL things (including if soemone gets raped) I don't know.
I guess all up, i'll stick wth life is one big coincidence. (which is a cop out =P but i said ths wasn't going to be some deep philosphical argument right :P so rar!)
Laters ppl, will post once i get back from Hamnet
~K
(for the record... if anyone was to ever do something like raping someone i cared about... God save them if i find them. You better believe that Ken would never ever let something like that go. NEVER. )
Sunday, July 08, 2007
A sign of the times? Of love thoughts and a catchup of the year
Ok, it's been a frigging long time since i've actually posted so i figure i'll make this a good one. Guess it'll be good to put into words the things that be on my mind. Well aside from my seemingly deteriorating vocabulary... DAMN YOU TELEVISION AND YOU AMERICAN HUMOUR!
Well i tried to write poetry tonight.. and as it would seem, i can't seem to get the sort of fluidity that i used to be capable of. You know sad to say i can still remember the time whetre within an hour i could write a poem i was happy with. Tonight all i came up with is something i scrapped becuase it was equivalent to the writing capability of a fifteen year old.
Yeha on taht front i can't say much progress has been had =P
Moving on, so i started reading my old blog posts, and you know what... apart from being a whiny lil bitch in some of them, i really was quite eloquent. makes a guy want to write a little bit it does. And yes, i know that isn't shall we say, perfect oxford grammar, but law school hasn't satrted again yet so grammar isn't a requirement.. not quite yet at least lol
Of the posts that kinda made me think the most were the ones about what I want for mysef... and the ones about relationships. Both topics I'm planning on updating tonight.
And as these thigns go, while relationships are certainly not the most important, they are the most entertaining to consider.
The question is then... what do i want and what has changed?
You know on this point i do find that i've changed abit.
I want .....
Someone who understands me... how you'd elaborate more on that is kinda beyond me. lol I'd have thought that'd be fairly self explantory.
Someone who's cute. Ok lets say this first and foremost. I am not a shallow person. it's just taht the physical attraction thing DOES matter people. At least in the beggining. Plus really... if a person is cute makes liking them that much easier =P
Someone who is a good person inside. Now this is horrendously vauge i know. But i've found that some people really are attractive because of the good they have within them. You know... like... they are just genuinely nice people. That is something that is in my opinion absolutely precious.
Someone who wants to be a good mother. Because frankly my dream is to be a good father... and a good father has to admit that he won't be very good at his job if he doesn't have someone who's a good mother by his side.
Someone who i can talk to. Ok this really is self explanatory. Kinda related to being understood. Communication = win!
Someone who can be my emotional strength. Was just thinking about this today when driving that while in alot of cases, men are the ones who (in terms of general roles), protect and care for the women, the women tend to be the ones who support the men, especially in the emotional side of the equasion. Basically someone who can stand by you and let you know that she's there for you.
Someone I can protect. General role of men aside... I want this. I want to be able to protect and care for someone. Think its been burned into my personality... I have to say i really love that whole idea. That you are someone's strength (the other side to the previous point. )
Someone who is affectionate. Ken likes hugs and kisses. Nuff said lol
Someone who is adventerous. or at least capable of randomness. I don't know how many times i've just gone... Yep lets do something. She'll have to be up for that lol like going for midnight drives to the beach just cos we can. Though i prob will never do "lets go see sunrise at akaroa" ever agian >.<
Someone i can trust. I think this goes without saying but may as well list it out because frankly trust really is what relatinoships are made of. If that is broken... well its not easily replaced.
Quite a list huh.... lol
So here's the second part. What is it that I can offer to her because I think its only fair.
(and really because the classic lines are really the best)
I'll be the man who catches her tears, my shoulders already wet with the ones that i've missed.
I'll be the man who supports her in the dreams that she wants for herself. I'm not going to be such a small little man that the only dreams that matter in the relationship are mine. Thats just not me.
I'll be loyal. Never betray... i think that's a good motto.
I'll protect her to the best of my abilities. Well kinda already gone through that one...
I'll keep improving myself. Because really, I know my flaws better than anyone on this earth. And honestly I have no intention of just accepting the way I am now as "good enough". Only scared little people refuse to change. I have no intention of being a scared little man.
I'll always listen. Because honestly listening is still one of the things I do best.
I'll try my best to understand her. Its only fair after all. (and to be honest, i like understanding how people work anyway)
I will be honest. Yeah i don't have to explain this do i?
lol
All and all i'd say that's a pretty good trade. I am who I am, and she will be who she will be. But yeah... its really interesting to see how expreince has changed my perspectives. It's still kinda a foggy picture, but its getting that little bit clearer.
Ya know this getting quite long lol... ah well... onto the next point!
What is it I want for myself? Like my dreams... my vision.
This i think has changed a wee bit... but i guess ultimately not that much at all.
I want to be significant. That would be my dream in its most simplest form. I don't want to be just another person... I'm not being arrogant here though. I believe everyone has potential to be someone significant. To at least do something in their lives that means something. Honestly, one of the greatest tragedies i feel about the world today is that people accept such average lives. They don't try to acheive something... to utilize their potential... i don't know. Guess being just another joe bloggs is not something I want for myself. Don't want to let my life be a stone that makes no ripples. Becasue that'd be sad.
I want.... to get into investments!!!! seriously. I mean if i can't get into investment banking, I will one day have my own investment portfolio. Seriously... the finance market is soemthing I've wanted to get into for ages aye....
I want... to run my own business. Because I think i'd like the challange of making a business work... and more than taht suceeding in it.
I want... to be a good father. a damn good father. (and a husband at that i might add lol) Its something I've wanted since I was 18 and i don't see that changing. Want to raise a family i'd be proud of. That God would be proud of.
I want... to help people. This ties into the significance thing i said before. Really this does have alot to do with legacy.... what people will think of you when you're gone. And more than that, what you leave behind when you die.
I want... ultimately to be used by God. This DEFINATELY ties into significance. And i think everything else i've said before has to come under this. Rar
So what does all this mean?
Probably taht I have alot to do. lol To quote Andre, If you want something you're going to have to go and do it yourself. Things won't just fall into your lap.
A fact i remembered today... and soemthing I do not intend to forget anytime soon.
Ok that should be enough from me tonight ^_^
G'nite all
=Ken
Well i tried to write poetry tonight.. and as it would seem, i can't seem to get the sort of fluidity that i used to be capable of. You know sad to say i can still remember the time whetre within an hour i could write a poem i was happy with. Tonight all i came up with is something i scrapped becuase it was equivalent to the writing capability of a fifteen year old.
Yeha on taht front i can't say much progress has been had =P
Moving on, so i started reading my old blog posts, and you know what... apart from being a whiny lil bitch in some of them, i really was quite eloquent. makes a guy want to write a little bit it does. And yes, i know that isn't shall we say, perfect oxford grammar, but law school hasn't satrted again yet so grammar isn't a requirement.. not quite yet at least lol
Of the posts that kinda made me think the most were the ones about what I want for mysef... and the ones about relationships. Both topics I'm planning on updating tonight.
And as these thigns go, while relationships are certainly not the most important, they are the most entertaining to consider.
The question is then... what do i want and what has changed?
You know on this point i do find that i've changed abit.
I want .....
Someone who understands me... how you'd elaborate more on that is kinda beyond me. lol I'd have thought that'd be fairly self explantory.
Someone who's cute. Ok lets say this first and foremost. I am not a shallow person. it's just taht the physical attraction thing DOES matter people. At least in the beggining. Plus really... if a person is cute makes liking them that much easier =P
Someone who is a good person inside. Now this is horrendously vauge i know. But i've found that some people really are attractive because of the good they have within them. You know... like... they are just genuinely nice people. That is something that is in my opinion absolutely precious.
Someone who wants to be a good mother. Because frankly my dream is to be a good father... and a good father has to admit that he won't be very good at his job if he doesn't have someone who's a good mother by his side.
Someone who i can talk to. Ok this really is self explanatory. Kinda related to being understood. Communication = win!
Someone who can be my emotional strength. Was just thinking about this today when driving that while in alot of cases, men are the ones who (in terms of general roles), protect and care for the women, the women tend to be the ones who support the men, especially in the emotional side of the equasion. Basically someone who can stand by you and let you know that she's there for you.
Someone I can protect. General role of men aside... I want this. I want to be able to protect and care for someone. Think its been burned into my personality... I have to say i really love that whole idea. That you are someone's strength (the other side to the previous point. )
Someone who is affectionate. Ken likes hugs and kisses. Nuff said lol
Someone who is adventerous. or at least capable of randomness. I don't know how many times i've just gone... Yep lets do something. She'll have to be up for that lol like going for midnight drives to the beach just cos we can. Though i prob will never do "lets go see sunrise at akaroa" ever agian >.<
Someone i can trust. I think this goes without saying but may as well list it out because frankly trust really is what relatinoships are made of. If that is broken... well its not easily replaced.
Quite a list huh.... lol
So here's the second part. What is it that I can offer to her because I think its only fair.
(and really because the classic lines are really the best)
I'll be the man who catches her tears, my shoulders already wet with the ones that i've missed.
I'll be the man who supports her in the dreams that she wants for herself. I'm not going to be such a small little man that the only dreams that matter in the relationship are mine. Thats just not me.
I'll be loyal. Never betray... i think that's a good motto.
I'll protect her to the best of my abilities. Well kinda already gone through that one...
I'll keep improving myself. Because really, I know my flaws better than anyone on this earth. And honestly I have no intention of just accepting the way I am now as "good enough". Only scared little people refuse to change. I have no intention of being a scared little man.
I'll always listen. Because honestly listening is still one of the things I do best.
I'll try my best to understand her. Its only fair after all. (and to be honest, i like understanding how people work anyway)
I will be honest. Yeah i don't have to explain this do i?
lol
All and all i'd say that's a pretty good trade. I am who I am, and she will be who she will be. But yeah... its really interesting to see how expreince has changed my perspectives. It's still kinda a foggy picture, but its getting that little bit clearer.
Ya know this getting quite long lol... ah well... onto the next point!
What is it I want for myself? Like my dreams... my vision.
This i think has changed a wee bit... but i guess ultimately not that much at all.
I want to be significant. That would be my dream in its most simplest form. I don't want to be just another person... I'm not being arrogant here though. I believe everyone has potential to be someone significant. To at least do something in their lives that means something. Honestly, one of the greatest tragedies i feel about the world today is that people accept such average lives. They don't try to acheive something... to utilize their potential... i don't know. Guess being just another joe bloggs is not something I want for myself. Don't want to let my life be a stone that makes no ripples. Becasue that'd be sad.
I want.... to get into investments!!!! seriously. I mean if i can't get into investment banking, I will one day have my own investment portfolio. Seriously... the finance market is soemthing I've wanted to get into for ages aye....
I want... to run my own business. Because I think i'd like the challange of making a business work... and more than taht suceeding in it.
I want... to be a good father. a damn good father. (and a husband at that i might add lol) Its something I've wanted since I was 18 and i don't see that changing. Want to raise a family i'd be proud of. That God would be proud of.
I want... to help people. This ties into the significance thing i said before. Really this does have alot to do with legacy.... what people will think of you when you're gone. And more than that, what you leave behind when you die.
I want... ultimately to be used by God. This DEFINATELY ties into significance. And i think everything else i've said before has to come under this. Rar
So what does all this mean?
Probably taht I have alot to do. lol To quote Andre, If you want something you're going to have to go and do it yourself. Things won't just fall into your lap.
A fact i remembered today... and soemthing I do not intend to forget anytime soon.
Ok that should be enough from me tonight ^_^
G'nite all
=Ken
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