Because i'm procrastinating and everybody needs a vision statement.
=====
My short term goal: Do reasonably well ( or as well as last minute work will allow me to do) in exams. Pray more, spend more time with the big dude. Get... reasonably fit... (sigh the hardest i'd say =P)
My mid term goal: Learn how to run a business, and run a succesful business. Study at Mosaic, then Mars Hill Church. Go to Toronto. Memorise the bible. Raise a God fearing family. (be rich =P but that's mre a side thing. it's not really that important)
Long term goal: Be used by God in whatever way he calls me to. Publish a book. ministry.... if possible. I want to end my life serving God...... If i had a choice, I would like to die in ministry. Closing my eyes and going home after my final messege.
My ultimate goal: To be able to face Jesus when I die and say that while I may not have done the best possible job, I did my best. That... I allowed myself to be used by God. Lil ol insignificant, imperfect me.
That is my dream. My wish.
What i want is to see people live with a reason, a purpose. Something bigger than themselves. I want to see God touch people, break chains, set them free. I want ..... people to not to have to cry anymore, to not feel alone anymore, to...... to know that there is something, a meaning to their existance.
I want... my whole family to worship God. Now he has to do a miracle with dad....
I want to be used.
I am but mud and clay, sand and ashes. But I know he uses the broken, imperfect ones to do his will.... may that be the story of my life. That I wasn't good enough, but God was.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Friday, October 06, 2006
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Identity crisis...
I have an identity crisis.
But the thing is, it's not to my identity.
My question is who is this person that I'm supposed to find, the proverbial 'one'. I guess it's fitting i'd consider the topic now, it being spring and all. It is the season of luv after all.
So who is she?
See, without having actually met her, i probably can't say for sure. All i'd have are what i'm looking for in a person. Though that said, predating this whole line of thought is the question, do i actually want someone?
I can't answer that fully yet. I mean, I of course would like someone special ... but now? I think that's the million dollar question. It's a strange thing really. i mean not too long ago I had the opportunity to go out with someone. THe thing was.... I didn't want to. It seemed to much of a hassle to have to accomodate someone else into my mannerisms, my routines. Not to mention my time... which granted is exceedingly self centered... still it was how i felt.
It's an irony considering not long before that i had thought that I was "ready" for a relationship. Maybe that was just a reflection of the fact that the girl was not really someone who i'd really consider special? I don't know.
Now?
I mean the classic answer is that "if i meet that someone special"... but i think that's a dodge if i ever saw one. In all honesty, I don't think quite yet.... guess i'm still not ready after all. I'm happy being myself, not having the viewpoints/needs of another person be imposed onto me. And it's not like I'm a player or anything, because i'm not. lol i'm flipping awkward around girls i like... such is the way of the nice guys.
That said, what is it that i'm actually looking for?
Has another year changed my list?
1) God loving, God fearing. Heck if she can be more connected to God than i am, the more the better. This one hasn't changed.
2) Cute. Yes Ken likes cute girls. Remember people cute> sexy
3) Underswtands me. There has been times i wished that i had someone to sit beside me when i;m sitting outside the law building at nights... someone i can share those times of quiet with. Someone who would go out to look for me when i stepped out even...
4) loves. Self explanaotry.
5) strong, because sometimes I can't be strong.
6) listens to me... makes me feel that it's ok to talk to her. A ear for a ear if I may.
7) smart... i'd like someone i could debate with. Yeah... that'd be cool.
8) Fun.... she would actually dance at a dance... not spend the night taking photos! yARRRRR
I'd ask all this... but what then can I offer?
I don't really know honestly. And answering that might seem abit self centered. Blowing my own horn and what not. But I do not intend to bring nothing to the table.
I'd listen to her at least... us ears are good at that!
Ken
But the thing is, it's not to my identity.
My question is who is this person that I'm supposed to find, the proverbial 'one'. I guess it's fitting i'd consider the topic now, it being spring and all. It is the season of luv after all.
So who is she?
See, without having actually met her, i probably can't say for sure. All i'd have are what i'm looking for in a person. Though that said, predating this whole line of thought is the question, do i actually want someone?
I can't answer that fully yet. I mean, I of course would like someone special ... but now? I think that's the million dollar question. It's a strange thing really. i mean not too long ago I had the opportunity to go out with someone. THe thing was.... I didn't want to. It seemed to much of a hassle to have to accomodate someone else into my mannerisms, my routines. Not to mention my time... which granted is exceedingly self centered... still it was how i felt.
It's an irony considering not long before that i had thought that I was "ready" for a relationship. Maybe that was just a reflection of the fact that the girl was not really someone who i'd really consider special? I don't know.
Now?
I mean the classic answer is that "if i meet that someone special"... but i think that's a dodge if i ever saw one. In all honesty, I don't think quite yet.... guess i'm still not ready after all. I'm happy being myself, not having the viewpoints/needs of another person be imposed onto me. And it's not like I'm a player or anything, because i'm not. lol i'm flipping awkward around girls i like... such is the way of the nice guys.
That said, what is it that i'm actually looking for?
Has another year changed my list?
1) God loving, God fearing. Heck if she can be more connected to God than i am, the more the better. This one hasn't changed.
2) Cute. Yes Ken likes cute girls. Remember people cute> sexy
3) Underswtands me. There has been times i wished that i had someone to sit beside me when i;m sitting outside the law building at nights... someone i can share those times of quiet with. Someone who would go out to look for me when i stepped out even...
4) loves. Self explanaotry.
5) strong, because sometimes I can't be strong.
6) listens to me... makes me feel that it's ok to talk to her. A ear for a ear if I may.
7) smart... i'd like someone i could debate with. Yeah... that'd be cool.
8) Fun.... she would actually dance at a dance... not spend the night taking photos! yARRRRR
I'd ask all this... but what then can I offer?
I don't really know honestly. And answering that might seem abit self centered. Blowing my own horn and what not. But I do not intend to bring nothing to the table.
I'd listen to her at least... us ears are good at that!
Ken
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