It's been quite a while since I've last posted. Guess I've put writing on the backburner recently. Yeah, but that's my love/hate/neglect relationship with blogs for ya =P I guess for the most part I haven't felt the need to use my blog as a way to deal with my emotions... possibly due to the fact that a) i haven't really had any emotional issues that i wanted to say out loud in a public forum and b) I've been otherwise pretty happy lately.
lol and then there's always the fact that i do suffer occasionally from bouts of laziness =P
Onto the update....
This weekend has been, for lack of another word, somewhat interesting. I've had both emotional highs and lows, with some details i'm obviously not going to put online, because really, I'm not so petty as to want to make someone look bad. And unfortunately, when you give the side of the story of the person who has been hurt, its inevitable that the other side looks bad. Ima considerate person dontya know. Real nicelike. That and I don't generally like talking bad about people... though there are few individuals who i really do not mind talking bad about.. well there are always exceptions. And i stand by my choices =P though admittedly i can only think of one that I'd put into that oh so special category of 'grade A fucker'. It really is a very select group after all.
But i digress.
May as well start with Friday night where, for reasons not to be said online (ask me and I might tell you... well in most cases i will =P) I was actually properly angry. Like I was not just pissed. I was angry. Now, if you know me, i rarely ever get properly angry. EVER. But the sense of betrayal and hurt that i felt at that particular point, yeah... it made me angry. Here's the irony, i wasn't so much angry at the person who caused it as i was angry at the fact that at that point I regretted the feelings i had in the past... well that and i realised just how absolutely led on i had been.
The first thing got to me because i never want to regret my emotions. Ya know, feelings felt so long as based on something are good. Even if ultimately whatever it was didn't work out and you feel hurt because of it. See... those are fine. They make your memories more vibrant... but ya know... when you find out that what you felt was based on lies (or what you thought was lies) well it just makes the emotions not something you'd want to hold on to.
Or at least it does for me.
The second one... well that's really obvious aint it lol. The worst bit is that really I knew at the very beginning that it was possible i was being led on. But i was... shall we say.... selectively blind. Guess i wanted to believe what i wanted to believe. I'll say this though, it really does aboslutely positively suck... the realisation that you were led on. I don't like the idea that i was fucked around with, and i don't like the thought that I put myself in the situation where i got fucked around with even more.
But with all that said, i'm over all of that. It took me till Saturday night before i managed to let it go, (which for me is surprisingly long... most times i go bed and when i wake up i'm not angry any more) but its done. Decided that this was an issue i really shouldn't care about anymore, and so really I don't. That whole package... the situation, the emotions, the person involved... i don't care about anymore. Totally.
It, all of it, don't deserve the time i've given it. I don't intend to give it more time.
Moving on...
Saturday night was interesting in so as much that I was hanging out with a totally different group of people. I had been at Yue's farewell party which was pretty cool.... though I have to say Yue gets incredibly hoochy when she's drunk. Hoochy btw isn't my word, but i think it is very fitting. lol but she's awesome =D and i do have to say... the girl knows how to move... lol if her lil mini strip dance was anything to go by. (no stripping occured mind you). So i headed to town with her, her boy, a white chick, a thai chick who likes white guys and a white guy who like guys too. Awesome people all :D I ended up going to Fat eddy's which is down in his lordship's lane, then going to the concrete club which was a dance club (trance and the like). I will say this, i REALLY missed my hip hop last night. I mean i'm cool with trance dancing , but after a while i really get SO dizzy. Too much head movement aye lol
But on the whole was an interesting experience =D always cool to make new friends!
Now i said that this weekend also had a high point and it did. Had alot of fun at Taylor's msitake today, just bumming round with Eva (NAMELY BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE I TXTED WAS BUSY... I MEAN SERIOUSLY WHY IS IT THAT EVEYRONE"S ALWAYS BEEN BUSY WHEN I TRY TO ORGANIZE THINGS.. ARGH!) but we spent the time climbing round the rocks, which was just alot of fun! We'll be going back, namely due to the fact we didn't really have enough time to really explore but we've found ourselves a new beach! Btw... i lost my jandals in the ocean... the current swept it off my feet >.< so currently i am jandal-less... TT_TT
But yeah... thats me weekend in a nutshell ^_^
Laters All
ken
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