Lessons learnt

I wrote this in a poem a long time ago...

===
A pause and a crack

A tear and a breaking
of the façade
shattering Cinderella’s shoe

I see,

The irony of truth
Is that lies
are so much softer, easier
===

Lol though on a critical note, my use of the word irony may have been wrong. But that's not the point =P

Truth shatering cinderella's shoe. In a sense the fairytale is over... and I guess that's where I am right now. Lol though that said, i'm done with my moping... one day no more right! lol

What have I learnt through all this?

You know because hey, at least lessons learnt are lessons learnt.

I need to game, if only to protect myself. Truth is, gaming is not neccesarily a bad thing in that sense. Like how a gun is neither good or evil, it is the intention of the person using it that makes the difference. What i realised is that the game is essentially that. Just a tool. Though i guess it is manipulative, but... lol gotta believe that ken wouldn't abuse it.

Note this though, when i say game, i don't mean i'm going to play around with girls. Lol because i totally disagree with that and I don't see that changing anytime soon. Gaming has to do with knowing how to create and control attraction. And yes it can be done.

Truth be told its more important that i learn to control my own heart... and definately never commit it to feeling something for someone where all that's going to happen is that it... I get hurt. Hey, its good to learn right?

Man... you'd think that by now i'd have learnt that particular lesson ... but guess its taken me awhile.

Seems i've become an expert in uneven heartstrings. (yeah i still love that term... coined it ages ago =P) Not a title i take much pride in though. Lol here's what happens when you've never really knew how to deal with your heart, your emotions. Wish i could have learnt this when i was younger... man, I really am behind the pack when it comes to this area of life aye.

I personally need to grow up. Because the way i am now, I am just going to get played ya. And I'll be honest. I don't know how many times I can take that. My heart isn't the most robust of things. I'm almost afraid of how much it's going to hurt when i truly do get heartbroken. And if i was a gambling man i'd bet that it was almost inevitable that I will be heartbroken.

Lol the joys of growing up huh? =P


Never mind.

All things said though, I am pretty happy. i mean tonight was fun.. really fun. I really love flat 37... and hey Shing gave me a massage tonight (I'LL ADMIT I KINDA MADE HER =P) so really... was an awesometastic night! And than there's tommorow night to look forward to... we having a good ol fashion cookout.

So life really is good.




I guess I just wish that I had taht other thing I've been looking for.

Laters~
Ken

== To love and to be loved. No greateer thing than this can a man ask ==